larfing_jafffy

Thu, 01 Jun 2006 23:17:49 GMT

Heyya
What's been hapnin in my life? Not much. Done assignments. Yay. Havnt started studyn 4exams. No. I posted some shit into queerbook its not that good. I will try to articulate myself better some other time. Just gotten a latte from HQ and it sux. Damn them sucking me in by playing Air's Moon Safari (that is one of my favourite albums). Oh well. Waiting 4 slave 2 get here as i need to print stuff off and i dont want to pay 4 it coz im stingy.
Evry1 seems to be moving houses right now but me. Damn me being so lazy that i cant b fucked gettn a job to share a place. Hate my parents they make me feel so guilty all the time all they do is whinge. Usually bout stuff i can't control such as shitty vision on the tv. Oh well my plans for these hols are as follows:

1. Get a job- hopefully at Chad or bentleigh so i can move in2 that area
2. Loose more weight- i havnt been 2 gym at all this week and over the last 2 weeks ive gained back 3kg. Im gettn in2 boombah territory again
3. Organise more driving lessons- i am so effin sik of public transport
4. Get a USB
5. Get gym membership at monash as it would b more convienient
6. Get a bfriend

Thu, 01 Jun 2006 07:32:49 GMT

I am crazy!
I am very crazy!
I am very super crazy!
I am very super mad crazy!
I am very super mad and ultimately crazy!
Cheers

Tue, 30 May 2006 10:48:28 GMT

Hey all you gorgeous ppl out there in livejournal world,

Something a friend mentioned the other day prompted me to write this entry. He may have not meant what he said but the general drift of what he said was that because he is gay he does not believe he is as worthy as straight individuals. This comment made me think about my own self worth.

As a flaming homosexual alot of my self worth, in a way, has often been decided for me. Most relegions see me as immoral. My parents see my homosexuality as a failure and thus see their parenting as a failure. The government on both a federal and state level refuse to recognise my self worth and consequently deny me having equal rights. Society in general struggles to see me as anything more than a handbag to 'faghags' or as a sex driven maniac or as a sign of the moral decline of our culture. These notions are all attacks on my self worth.

It is hard not to concede to queerphobia and to have a diminisehed self worth. I believe this is why so many queer indiviuals dropout of highschool, run away from home, get on the drugs and why so many take their lives. They do not have self worth. A heteronormative and queerphobic society has denied them of their self worth. They may suffer shame, direct assualts or are ignored. Personally i have suffered feelings of being ashamed since i realised i was gay. I have been exposed to both verbal and physical assault. Thus i am a victim of a society that does not value my self worth.

However, one of the reasons why im outspoken in regards to queer rights is because i know i deserve more- I am worth more! Every quuer person is worth more than the level which society values them. Every queer should feel the same level of worthiness as anybody else. Being queer is not reflect some internal dysfunction it is just another part of an individual. And every individual is inherently worth more than a pot of gold.

Sorry to get all Voltaire on you but i do believe every person is born free but is put in chains. Queer people are born without prejudice and every straight person the same (ie, we are born free). However, the structure of society encourages prejudice wheter it be queerphobia racsism or whatever. Thus, we are put in the chains of prejudice.

That is why it is so importatn to be pro-queer. We are worth equal rights. We are worth marriage. We are worth having children. We are worth feeling safe. We are worth to be who we are. Just like anybody else. I dream of a world for future generations when they are not put in the chains of prejudice.

Cheers (i apologise for any grammar issues i am tired)

about last message

Thu, 25 May 2006 09:28:47 GMT

I would just like to point out im not suicidal or anything- that would be just another failure- im just a bit down in the dumps. Fuck hell i sound ultra dramatic. I am a drama queen. Thats another aspect of myself i do not like. I wish i was not so fucking camp flamboyant and gay i wish i was just your regular guy.

I need some sleep

How i am feeling crappy

Thu, 25 May 2006 09:19:18 GMT

Hey every1 bothered to read this i do not know why you are reading this particular blog but well done.

I am very much down in the dumps right now. I hate who i am right know. I hate my laugh right know. I hate how others see me right now. Especially my friends. It is all my fault. I do not desrve friends.

When i look at the knife at the opposite end of the room i think gee my wrists would sure be easy to slit. The skin is so thin. It is the only place im thin. However, i am sure my wrists are fatter than most.

Im not obese or anything too boombah. Im just fat enough for people to look at me when im eating for them to think you shouldnt have that bite you will just be fatter. I used to think i was too fat for a gym. Im not that fat.

Im certainly too fat to have a boyfriend. Everyone to me is either too out of my reach or too ugly. I feel like im the only one in the middleground. I like to think my face is reasonably handsome however there is still alot to be desired.

As you can tell im quite selfobseesed. I do care for others, but i struggle with my friend relationships. Im too much in my own world to really fit in in any community. I decided to write a livejournal to get things off my chest. I do not feel i have done this tonight but hopefully i soon will.

Cheers,
Larfing Jafffy